Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
