So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
