the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
