So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
