i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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