Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
