im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
