yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
