I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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