So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
