wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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