My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just found puke in my bra..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
