dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
