we have officially lost it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
