She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
