your room smells of hookers.
And success
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
