He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
