all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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