It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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