the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
