Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
