Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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