The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
