Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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