Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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