I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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