i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
