No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
