Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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