I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
