"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
