If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
