dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
