Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
