Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
