Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
