wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize