she was so not down for the gang bang
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize