If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
