Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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