No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
