never play flip cup with pint glasses
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
