It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
