2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ladies don't puke and tell
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
