Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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