it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
