Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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