Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Everyone says I win the strip club
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
