ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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