I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
