Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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