Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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