What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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