I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
