when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
