i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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