yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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