no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize