Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
