So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
