Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
