Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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